Coughing Heads

Would that I had something other to talk about... but having been sick for over a month now, I've got nothing. Well, I have an appointment with a pulmonologist mid-week. So I expect to be better by then.

second verse, same as the first

I've been sick with some evil bacteria or virus since Oct. 5th. We've tried it evict it with antibiotics and steroids, I fucking hate steroids. Did I mention that I hate taking steroids? Because I do. They make The Crayzee, that I sometimes have to drag out back and chain to the tree, look domesticated.

Steroids make me bat-shit-crayzee. They put me on an emotional ride that I do. Not. Want. Also, they make my husband even more miserable because he's the one that has to deal with me and our home is too small and cluttered for either of us to really get away from the other. Next time they try to give me steroids I'm going to insist that they also give me Xanax or something. Either that or I'm going on a strict margarita diet.

Tomorrow I see a M.D. again. At least she doesn't seem scared of me. That's always a plus. I don't know why I've been having all this trouble with breathing... I have gotten some better, but then it starts to come back and I'm just not getting enough oxygen.

I'll try to update this more often so you don't have to wonder if I've crawled off and died. I don't have any plans to in the near future... just so you know.

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

The dog is sick, both birds are sick, I get to have an endometrial biopsy next week and I might have Lupus on top of whatever else is wrong but the rheumatologist says I have to wait a month to do more testing. We all need to come out of this okay. DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE?! We're all gonna make it through this month or someone is going to pay.. of course it'll probably be me, paying the vet. 

These Things Take Time

A while back I decided it couldn't hurt if I saw a naturopath. I mean... after I declared myself willing to even try eating cow patties for a week if it would help, I thought maybe that wasn't so far off. So I'm supposed to take a host of expensive vitamins (which I sometimes forget) and drink a shake thingy twice a day (which I'm often too tired to make) and eliminate gluten and cows milk from my diet.

It hasn't been as hard as you might think. God bless Trader Joe's for having lots of gluten free foods as well as lots of things made from goat or sheep milk. I really don't think I could live without cheese. Cheese is like a metaphor for life dood.

So, it's like a month later and I have no idea if this is helping me. But I just finished eating a late breakfast consisting of one hard boiled egg, 3 smallish Persian cucumbers, a tablespoon of real mayo from the aforementioned store, a shake of celery salt and a sprinkle of toasted sesame seeds. And now I'm either breaking out in hives on the right side of the roof of my mouth right behind my teeth, or immediately as I finished eating starting to develop the cold sore from hell.

Yay me. I guess I'll remember to take those vitamins today and have the shake, because if this keeps up eating anything else will just be painful. Follow up with Rheumatologist on Friday cannot come soon enough. I just pray that she's got an itty bitty idea of what might be going on with me.

Fedoras on the Freeway

Have you ever noticed that old people wearing hats are like the worst drivers? I mean really the worst... and especially on the freeway. Somehow the bigger the hat (or the more like a fedora) the slower the driving.

That and little old ladies that drive with their nose less than 2 inches above the steering wheel... while hysterically funny to look at... ugh! You know what I'm talking about? You've seen her, she's got the seat as close as possible to the steering wheel. She's holding onto it with a death grip, she's got the left turn tick-tick on and she's driving in the far right lane. For the last quarter mile at least.

Never gonna stop the rain by complain'

I've had so much of nothing going on lately that I haven't blogged at all. The dog got sick, my brother got sick, the little bird got sick and the big bird goes to the vet today. I'm working on another abscess in my mouth, have a sore INside my nose (ouch), continue to get tired without any great effort, and achy in all the wrong places.

This week I subjected myself to another "endiot" (endocrinologist who is an idiot). I was really hopeful that this one might be a good one. I swear, I think some of these doctors have gone to a CE seminar called "How to Tell an Unconvincing Lie: Inventive ways of telling a patient that you think they're stupid." So, this well educated physician would have me believe that  in the last year I've suddenly become increasingly hypersensitive to testosterone (despite my having abnormally low levels). Naturally that is what is causing me to grow a lovely beard on one side of my chin/neck. In addition they would like me to accept that there are healthy pre-menopausal women who are even hyper-sexual with testosterone levels in the low single digits (normal levels for testosterone for women, while debated in many arenas, are soundly in the mid double digits).

I now realize my mistake... while I would rather avoid ever having to go to another endocrinologist if I can help it, I need to stfu and force them to talk more. I really dislike the arrogance of some doctors assuming that just because I have walked into their office that I want them to assume my care. I don't want to work with a doctor that doesn't run a patient centered practice, isn't willing to look in depth at the train-wreck that is my medical history, and seriously thinks that a 20 minute consult is sufficient for a new patient intake.

I'm borrowing an illustration from my friend Erella Ganon

I think that about covers it.

I have a new friend... his name is Eustice.

I found Eustice languishing on the clearance table at a Tuesday Morning. His mate had been stolen. He had been marked down to $4.99 and was only too happy to come home with me.

He makes me smile, and in exchange I have been taking him on adventures!

He's met the famous knitter Nancy Bush and frolicked with her socks. 

He's been to Trader Joe's for shopping...

...and has dined out with us quite a few times. Husband would rather not share his salad with Eustice but he's been a very good sport.  I'm quite convinced that he regretted some of the choices he made at one of our favorite Vietnamese places.

we even had him with us for a check up at the doctor!

He's also very good company for me when I knit or sew. I even once found him snuggling with our dog...

I expect he'll be with me for a long time. As long as I can keep my husband from hiding him from me.

Count Rugen revisited

January 27, 2010 was the one year anniversary of my attempt to have Count Rugen murdered.

I  knew I had the right surgeon when I asked him if he was familiar with the movie The Princess Bride. He admitted to having seen it many times. He said not only would he say Inigo Monotoya's greeting for Count Rugen before starting surgery, he had the accent down pat!

The various medical residents, including one who was really from Spain, all reported to me in the days after the surgery that he really said the line before making the initial cut. With the accent. The operative report indicates that they scraped everything they found out. Not just once, but three times. And yet... it seems that he is not gone from my life completely.

Don't get me wrong; the last year has seen many improvements. But the the symptoms that persist sometimes really outweigh the improvements. And the mood swings can be awful. Yesterday I broke into tears because husband expressed a desire for a banana and I didn't have any in the house to give to him.

My next appointment with the neurosurgeon is tomorrow. I don't know what he plans to tell me. But, no matter what he says I have something that I want to try. It seems that L-lysine may have some affect on the ability of the adrenal cortex to produce cortisol in response to ACTH. I discovered this quite by accident. It seems that L-lysine has a half life of around 11 days and after 3 months of taking small amounts of it I not only was feeling better but saw some improvements in some of my lab work.

Like I've said before... I'm kinda using my pituitary gland (even if it is malfunctioning) and I'd prefer not to have half of it removed if I can avoid it.

In other news... I've been knitting gifts for family and friends. I hope to have more photos to post soon.