Monday, November 09, 2009

Well it's about damn time...

So… yeah. It’s, um, nearly a year later, and *waves* Hi invisible friends... Thanks for still, um, being invisible and stuff, because I suck so much and have been missing for so long. It took a random stranger coming by and posting a comment asking if I was dead to get me to write to you. Sorry. But you deserve so much more than sorry… so here’s the best I can offer, an update with some pictures.

Pathetic sweater progress and also unfolded laundry. Yay me.

You see, first there was the surgery thing. That was January 27th. It sucked in all the ways that surgery should suck, and was not awesome enough because I was hoping to feel a lot better by now. They did find a tumor, on the outside of my pituitary gland. So they scraped it all off… the operative report describes it as being a “particularly pale soft cheese-like substance”. Not something you really want in your head anyway. Cheese. Ew.

So the pathology report confirms that it was a tumor. But it stained for a hormone that I never had an excess of. Not at all helpful to me in the long run, but why should it start being helpful now? The doctors tell me that these cells are often dual-producers and that prolactin (what it stained positive for) often goes with ACTH.

Since the surgery I’ve seen some improvements, but a lot of my old “symptoms” are coming back… including the fatigue. Without the miracle of long acting amphetamines I would never get anything done. Honest. And at times the crazy really takes me over. I try to keep it chained to a tree in the backyard, but I swear it’s got bolt cutters hidden out there somewhere.

Also, I’ve also discovered The Bloggess. Reading her blog and pretending that my life has moments equally as awesome as hers has been a lot easier than writing my own blog, and possibly more interesting. Thing is that since I’m not a crazy stalker, mostly, and she already IS her I should try come up with my own thing. Only I’m totally stealing the cussing. Because saying THE FUCK?! Often just really suits me right now.

Like for example: The last time my testosterone levels were checked they were only 6 points above qualifying for an NIH funded study about being deficient. However, my endocrinologist says this is okay because I’m not Middle Eastern. THE FUCK?!

I mean, I can’t say this TO HIM. But I hope I can tell you about it? In fact… I think I’m about ready to tell you all about how my current endocrinologist is driving me to want to drink. Only I’m too broke right now to afford anything GOOD to drink. So I’m sober. Which sucks even more. Someone send me a good bottle of wine.

In the meantime my secondary markers for growth hormone are getting lower all the time. They’re so low that they are appropriate for an 80 year-old but not this nearly 38 year-old. But my great endo doesn’t want to send me for a growth hormone stimulation test. Why? I don’t know. He just said “You don’t want to do that.” THE FUCK?! Uh, I think I’d rather do that than have another brain surgery!

Because that’s where things stand… in the absence of more changes maybe we do another surgery. And possibly cut out the entire right side of my pituitary gland. Which I think I’m currently using.

So, I’m writing my endo a “love letter” telling him how much I need him to stop wearing his ass as a hat and spend my insurance money! TEST ME DOOD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE CRAP. Only I said it much nicer-like. And I didn’t write THE FUCK?! Not even once.

I’ll let you know what happens.

This is getting a little long so I’ll stop and save a thought to share with you later… midnight blood draws.


littleoldladyinashoe said...

O.M.G Girl! That was some funny stuff right there!

Mary said...

I hope your love letter gets a response, Ami. It doesn't make any sense that he's not trying to help you feel better!

Kate said...

Ami, when you don't feel well, the only thing to do is to go at 'em fightin'!!! If he doesn't respond well, then bring out the F word. It suits you in this situation! Feel better, amiga! -Kate